Dad

Talking to my dad is becoming a chore. I don't like to do it and I think it makes my blood pressure rise. He has good and bad days going through all this stuff and today was a not so good day. My sister is sleeping at my mom's tonight but she didn't know how to tell my dad and ended up lying and saying that she was sleeping at a friends. It is just a very delicate situation. My dad and I have nothing in common and he never really asks what I am up to so I just kind offer it up. I get so worried about things. Then my aunt (my dad's sis who is a nun) calls me and reminds me that Sunday is Father's Day. Really no shit. I am 25 years old and happen to be very aware of such holidays. Also she tells me that she is going out of town so I might need to call my dad more. I call him three times a day ... I am not sure what more I can do. I am trying.

How you know you do not need therapy ...

1. You analyze yourself better then this therapist/counselor ever could.

2. You find what you thought to be your problem so boring to this person that they dig back.

3. You are pissed the entire time you are there because you feel like you have friends that could do a better job for free.

That is all.

Step Dads and Different Last Names

If ten years ago or even three years ago you asked me if I ever thought that at 25 I would be getting a step dad soon enough I would have told you that I thought you were crazy. But it is indeed happening. I guess I always thought that after you moved away and stuff your parents would be together forever. I was wrong. My mom seems really happy lately and I am very glad for her. There is talk of a small wedding (one I would not be a part of due to so many issues of who to invite and who not to invite) and then I would have a step dad. A step dad who I have been told wants to be my friend. Hey I am open to that. I would be happy to have yet another positive role model in my life (not that having an affair is a great thing but to help show me how marriage can be) would be great. Talking to my dad dad I have realized that his view of marriage was always extremley skewed and he thought just being faithful and bringing home a pay check was enough to sustain a marriage. It is in fact not. I always thought i would never wait on someone the way my mom waited on my dad. I thought there should always be an equal share in marriage and that the person you marry would be one who you wanted to spend most of your time with. I do hope marriage happens for me.

On to different last names. I was talking to my mom about if she would change her last name when she got remarried and she will in fact do this. It is kinda sad to have a different last name from my mom as I had discussed with someone else earlier this weekend. But then my mom brought up the point, that hopefully eventually I will in fact have a different last name when I get married. Didn't think of it that way.

Breach of Faith

I just finished reading Breach of Faith by Jed Horne that was about Katrina. It was a good book. I had read the Great Deluge last year and the books are pretty much the same. I think it is vry interesting to read about the different events that took place and reading different peoples' opinions as to why it ended up being such a disaster. It was good and I would recommend it.

Saturday

So being off of work makes the weekends pretty uneventful. Just kind of laying around. Went to a interview for weight watchers to be a receptionist at the meetings. It went pretty well and it is something that I would really like to do. I really believe in the program and it helped me so I guess the best thing would be to work for them.

Otherwise today I have just been reading a good book about Katrina called Breach of Faith by Jed Horne. Very interesting as well as very long. I have rediscovered the library as I often do during the summer. I don't have any extra funds to buy books so the next best thing is to go to the library.

I have been talking to my mom a lot and am looking forward to seeing her new house and meeting her boyfriend (I have met him before but don't really remember.) Soon enough ... probably early next year, he will become my step dad. Strange. Then I will have a step brother and sister. Also, strange.

I have decided ... probably, unless another hurricane hits New Orleans, that i will probably move back there after I have completed my master's program in three years. I just feel like if I have kids and stuff I want them to know my family. People always ask me if I have family here and then seem to find it strange that I live here without any family but I don't find it that abnormal. But to paraphrase Chris Rose, she is a New Orleans girl and even if they live away, they always come back.

Back by myself

So my sister was here Monday through today and it was a fun time. We went to Universal in Orlando and Busch Gardens in Tampa. We had a good time and it was good to hang out with someone who knew what I was going through.

I have been feeling okay about everything. I am going home in a month and am stressed about that a little.

Stress

My sister is coming in this morning. It is only 6am and I am already awake. I didn't sleep very well last night and then I was talking to her already because she called and she is very stressed out and sick to her stomach. I think she is nervous about flying. I don't know how often she has actually flown by herself. I am now feeling somewhat sick as well. I guess sympathy sickness. I am not sure. I am happy to she my sister and we will be able to talk and kind of wrap our brains around all that is going on. I am very happy to see her. In about an hour I will be leaving to go to the airport at about the same time her plane takes off. Random how long it takes to get to the airport when you live in the middle of nowhere.