Two months down ... ten to go

I can't believe the first two months of 2007 are already over. How crazy is that. I didn't even realize it until my friend pointed it out to me today. Crazy. I feel like I haven't really accomplished anything so far in 2007. I feel like in 2006 I accomplished a lot - I lost a lot of weight, I moved, I finished up my first year of teaching. I feel like nothing is going on now at all.

I am just waiting now to find out if I am going to get into my graduate program. I hope to god I do because I know that i can't go on teaching forever. I am just not happy doing it and I am really unqualified to do anything else even though I have a degree. Oh well i guess we shall see.

Why is this happening to me?

Psycho decided to start iming me tonight so I blocked him. He then got another sn and imed me and I in turn blocked him again. I was trying to send a friend a text and he called my phone and i accidentally answered it. I started yelling at him telling him I wanted nothing to do with him and he started telling me how mean I was and that he wasn't even treated this mean by his exwife. He tells me he bought me a bday gift that cost $150 and I say i will just mail it back to him. Finally I get so frustrated I hang up on him. He then proceeds to call again and I don't answer and he leaves a voicemail telling me how mature I am. I am literally shaking. My friend is coming over now because I am freaking out. I just want to be left alone. Can you block phone numbers from calling your cell phone? I think I am going to have a drink so I can stop shaking.

New Computer

So I bought a new computer today and it is great. It actually caused me some stress for a while. It's hard to switch computers because everything I had on the old computer I had to get to the new one and that took took a while. My mom is going to help me out paying for it which is cool as well. I definitely needed a new one though because my cd drive wouldn't even open it just said it was busy all the time and it was starting to piss me off. So I am happy now.

Ash Wednesday

So its Ash Wednesday which I realized today means that I can't eat meat on Fridays. It's real easy not to eat meat in New Orleans on Fridays. Tons of seafood and boiled crawfish ... its almost like a blessing. Not a big deal at all. Well now that I live in central Florida its not so easy. Some seafood but not like the abundance in New Orleans. Not that I am really a practicing Catholic or anything but I do try to abide by these rules ... not exactly sure why though. I must think in the back of my brain that I won't go to hell if I just don't eat meat on Fridays during Lent. Oh well ... I guess we shall see on that one.

Turning 25 and a great weekend!

So I have now hit the quarter of a century mark. Crazy. I freaked out a little but not real bad. I got lots of birthday wishes from my friends so it was great. My best friend Chris was here for the weekend and we had a great time just getting to hang out and do different things.

A timeline of the weekend:

He got here Friday so I took off half a day to get him from the airport and sat in horrible traffic. We came back to my house and then went out and ate sushi. The best sushi. Here is a pic of my favorite the catepillar roll.

Saturday was againa driving day and we went to Universal Islands of Adventure theme park and that was lots of fun.

Last night we went to Downtown Disney and went and ate at HOB and then went to Disney Quest where I discovered I get motion sickness and bacame somewhat of a stick in the mud.

It was great having my friend here and him getting to meet people I talk about all the time. Tomorrow I have to go to work even though it is Mardi Gras. I think that because I am from NOLA I should get off because I have never had a weird expierence of having to go to work or school on Mardi Gras. Very strange. But oh well. Back to reality tomorrow.

Psycho Strikes Again

I get up a few hours ago to leave my house to go to the gym and there are flowers and a card on my doorstep. I am like please be from someone else because I so knew. So I am open the card and of course it is from psycho. CRAZY what doesn't he get about me not liking him or even wanting to be friends with him. GET THE PICTURE.

I am a pessimist

So I am officially a pessimist. I just finished watching the class from last night (got to love the dvr) and it ended up with a happy ending and it kinda just pissed me off more than anything. I just really don't think life is like that at all. I mean really whose life really ends up being fairy tale?

AHHHH ... glass half empty .... I am going to boycott tv and go and roll up in bed (even though it is only 7) and read a book. Screw happy endings.

Valentine's Day

Not so happy about this whole valentine's day thing. It just reminds people who are alone that they are in fact alone. Our students had the oppurtunity to order carnations from school so I think tomorrow I will be receiving some flowers from my students. I also got them valentines. Laffy Taffy candy to go with them so I hope they like that. And I have an assembly in the afternoon, so I think that will be a nice break.

The week is going by kinda slow. I am ready to hang out with my BFF. LOL! It should be good times because I haven't seen him since Christmas and he has never been here so hopefully we will have fun.

On a motivation note, I got up at 5 today and went to the gym even though my body was screaming no. But I did it and it felt good after. So hopefully tomorrow morning I will get up again and go!

Back to myself

So I finally am returning to my old self. Focusing on me and not sitting around waiting for the phone to ring when I know in all reality it probably will ring but it won't be top chef. Write that one off. Anyways ... how did I get back to my old self today. Well I woke up at 8 and went to the gym. Then I came home and padded around for a bit and went to Kohl's and bought myself two pairs of capris and a shirt. I think I now must have like 20 pairs of pants which kinda of almost seems excessive ... but not quite. I have been reading all day again. I am about to finish a book that I just started this morning. A suspense novel I guess you would call it. Also on the getting back to me note, I have been counting all my points and everything for weight watchers and actually paying attention to what I have been eating.

On Friday night, I am planning a dinner to go and eat the best food ever .... SUSHI!!!! It should be great hopefully I can get a few of my friends to join Chris and I. Then, on either Saturday or Sunday we will go to Universal. I bought the tickets today thanks to my mom. I am sure it will be fun. Except I don't like roller coasters and am sure I will be dragged on them unwillingly. I just always think they are going to break.

The grammy's come on soon so I think I will be watching that with a vague interest. Who knows maybe it will be really cool. I remember my favorite grammy performance from the past when Eminem and Elton John sang "Stan." I thought that was great. Who knows. I am ready for work tomorrow and to make it through the week.

Saturday

So I have spent all day today recovering from to much alcohol on Friday night. It sucks I feel like crap. But I did read one of the books I bought. The pink one called Love @ First Site. It is pretty good and just something to make me feel better because I have been gloomy the past week.

Today has been the longest day too. I think I am getting ready for the longest week as well since my best friend is coming in from NOLA on Friday. My birthday is Sunday so he is coming here to celebrate it which shall be fun. We are going to go to Universal and stuff so that should be fun.

Friday Night

Friday night and I am home. Shocking. I am used to being home on Friday nights. So I went to Barnes and Nobles and picked up three books. A James Patterson, a Mary Higgins Clark, and a book called Love @ First Site by Jane Moore. Thought the last one might be humorous and it was pink!!! When I don't know authors I tend to buy books based on colors. Strange but true. I often find that pink books are very girlie and I tend to like them.

In other lack of news, top chef still hasn't called. I can write that one off. My mom thinks I am too high matience. She was like well when did he call last. And I told her Wednesday. And she said its only ben two days and I expect too much. Maybe so but if I am going to spend time with someone I better be treated like a damn princess.

Off to my books and my Riesling.

Alone

It is a real scary thought to be alone. Right now I am alone in my apartment and just trying to convince myself to go to bed and stop waiting up for the phone to ring. If I could just stop being someone else and go back to being regular old Jessica that would be great. I realize the phone is not going to ring and even if it does it won't be who I want it to be and then I will be in a funk again.

I think I am just so scared of being alone forever and never finding my soul mate (yes, I believe in all that crap.) And its hard to be away from your home. If I was in NOLA right now, I would jump in my car and run up to PJs. Or I could just go and talk to my mom or something but here its just like stare at the tv, the computer, or just the walls. Maybe I am getting homesick, I don't know.

Losing part of myself

So I have discovered that whenever I start talking to a guy or start dating someone I kind of lose focus of what I need to be doing for myself. I really start putting my priorities on the back burner while I wait around for something to happen with the guy. That's got to be the dumbest thing ever and I need to break that habit big time.

I think I am frustrated with the whole online dating thing and just dating in general. Maybe at this time, I am just not meant to date anyone. I think I need to work on myself. I let people get the best of me sometime and let it affect (effect?) me until I feel just completely drained. I think I just need to figure out myself. Who knows whats going to go on with me. I hope someone awesome comes along eventually, I just really don't feel like its going to happen right now until I make myself better.

Dating Rules

So I have been trying out the whole online dating thing and am thinking it doesnt really work either. I think all those people on the eharmony commercials are liars or actors. But acting is really lying ifyou think about it (not an original thought its from a movie or something.) Anyway ... I thought of some rules for dating ... or maybe more specifically dating me. LOL!

1. If you say you are going to call, then call dammit.

2. If we have plans, don't break them.

3. Answer your phone.

4. If you only want to talk on your terms, then you probably aren't for me.

5. Must have a degree.

6. Many more I am sure just can't think.

So I am done dating I think for at least the foreseeable future. Oh well.