Awesome Shoes and other randomness

I went shopping today and bought these awesome shoes. I love them! I also got some other clothes from a great store that I have never heard of called Windsor Fashions. They rock! I am so excited about going home and seeing my friends and people I haven't seen in a while.

In other news, I haven't heard back from the guy that I am suppose to get together with when I am at home. I myspaced messaged him last night and he hasn't responded but it doesn't look like he he has signed in. I texted him phone (some friends and I were enjoying wine and it seemed like a damn good idea although maybe not) and he didn't respond so I don't think I will be meeting up with him on my trip.

Guys and summer school

So I feel like I have been single for long enough. You know what I mean? I have lost 85lbs in the past year and a half and have been working on myself and have become a much better person and I feel like I actually deserve a cool person in my life. I am a little freaked out about meeting up with this guy at home when I go. I mean I don't know. I don't even know what we would chat about and uncomfortable silences are well uncomfortable. I guess I will need to see where my life is leading me when I arrive there.

Only 5 more days of teaching summer school. Thank goodness. Teaching summer school is more tiring then the normal school year. I feel like I lack a lot of support in summer school. Today my director told me that my "frequent bathroom breaks" were bad for my students. I go to the bathroom twice when I am not on break. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Really I understand that kids are the focus, but I am in fact a person too. 5 more days. That is my mantra.

Random Story ... I felt like typing it okay?

So a few years ago when I was in a sorority and weighed about 80lbs more then I do now I had a crush on a guy who was a few years older than I was. We hung out a couple of times but he never really paid me a bit of attention. So it March I decide to add him on the myspace friends list and he messaged me and was like who is this and i told him and he was like oh its too bad you don't still live here bc we could hang out (really easy to say to someone that lives 600 miles away.)

Fast forward to last night ... I had a dream and he was in it. So I decided to post a bulletin on myspace that went to all my friends saying I was coming home in a couple of weeks. So I get home from the gym and he has messaged me saying we should hang out when I am there if I have time. So I message him back and say that would be cool and gave him my AIM name for if he wanted to im me. He did and we talked for a few minutes and I gave him my number and I gave him mine. And so now we might hang out when I go home in a few weeks. RANDOM!! And now I am feeling all giddy inside even though I feel like someone is playing a HUGE joke on me. We shall see.

Newbery Challange #2

So last night in about an hour I knocked out my second book for the Newbery Challange. I read "Number the Stars" by Lois Lowry. I read this book when I was in either 5th or 6th grade. I love this book. I think it helps to make the history of the Holocost more real to children because it puts in into the perspective of children their own age. I like how Lowry discusses in her afterword how she actually based some of the characters on real people from history. I think it shows children how they can stand up for what they believe in and how even though they may be young, they can still help to protect themselves and others.

Summer School and Weight Watchers

So today around 4, I found out that I will be teaching summer school for students who didn't pass out state test. I was originally suppose to do it from the beginning (it started June 4th) but they didn't have enough kids. Well, one of the teachers I know had to quit so they called me and asked me if I wanted to do so I will be starting tomorrow bright and early. I kind of want to do it and kinda of don't. I guess I need the money though.

I talked to my dad earlier and he went to his first weight watchers meeting so that is good for his health. Of course now he wants to ask me millions of questions about it. Oh well, I guess it will help keep us close. And if weight watchers works for my dad, ANYONE can do it!

Stress

So today has been a little crazy. Last night I went into Orlando and hung out with one of my sorority sisters who was in for a conference so that was cool. I got home early this morning and then tonight I talked to my dad again today and that caused some stress. He was saying things like he thinks my mom doesn't want my sister to live with her because she wants her freedom yadda yadda. I know this isn't true. They are going to a lawyer on Tuesday to see if they can work out things with one lawyer for cost purposes. My friend who i hung out with last night is an attorney so I was talking to her about that situation and asking lots of questions. She said people who get divorced normally only use the same lawyer in about 2% of cases and that she hoped it worked out for them but it probably wouldn't. I am just going a little crazy because I will be there in July and I think my dad thinks that he has me in his pocket so to speak and that I will always be at his house and we will be hanging out the whole time. This is not true. I want to spend time with my mom and my friends as well. I am just not sure how to break this to him. I think it might be best to wait until I got there until I deal with it. My mom said she would talk to him about it but I don't really want that because I don't want him to feel like he has lost his family all together and then maybe he would build a wall towards me because I didn't want to stay with him the whole time. Holidays are going to be hell this year.

Late night

So I was in bed reading and got a call from my friend asking if I wanted to meet for a drink. So I got out of bed and went to applebees in basically my pjs which consist of gym shorts and a tshirt. I didn't have a drink but I did have an okay ww shrimp skewer salad. The shrimp were actually pretty good. Now I am really awake because I just drank to huge diet cokes. Tomorrow I think I might work out but who knows. I already worked out four times this week and will work out Saturday so I am thinking of giving my body a rest. We shall see.

I just finished reading a book called Tubby Meets Katrina by Tony Dunbar. Good book. Fiction actually. My mom turned me on to it and it is a book about the whole storm and how a character dealt with it while being a mystery novel at the same time. Pretty good. Now I am on to another James Patterson which I am going to go read now.

Random Jealousy

So I am now feeling jealous of my sister Mallory. For the first time tonight she will be sleeping at my mother's residence. So formal sounding I know. I am jealous because I don't get to be around and see how my mother and her boyfriend (WEIRD) are together and I don't get to she her truely happy. I talk to her everyday but I want to be able to hang out with her again because she really is one of my closest friends. Is this normal? I just have this strange feeling of disconnect that I come upon every few days. I feel disconnected from my family and my former life back in NOLA. I wish I could go home sooner but no such luck.

Dad

Talking to my dad is becoming a chore. I don't like to do it and I think it makes my blood pressure rise. He has good and bad days going through all this stuff and today was a not so good day. My sister is sleeping at my mom's tonight but she didn't know how to tell my dad and ended up lying and saying that she was sleeping at a friends. It is just a very delicate situation. My dad and I have nothing in common and he never really asks what I am up to so I just kind offer it up. I get so worried about things. Then my aunt (my dad's sis who is a nun) calls me and reminds me that Sunday is Father's Day. Really no shit. I am 25 years old and happen to be very aware of such holidays. Also she tells me that she is going out of town so I might need to call my dad more. I call him three times a day ... I am not sure what more I can do. I am trying.

How you know you do not need therapy ...

1. You analyze yourself better then this therapist/counselor ever could.

2. You find what you thought to be your problem so boring to this person that they dig back.

3. You are pissed the entire time you are there because you feel like you have friends that could do a better job for free.

That is all.

Step Dads and Different Last Names

If ten years ago or even three years ago you asked me if I ever thought that at 25 I would be getting a step dad soon enough I would have told you that I thought you were crazy. But it is indeed happening. I guess I always thought that after you moved away and stuff your parents would be together forever. I was wrong. My mom seems really happy lately and I am very glad for her. There is talk of a small wedding (one I would not be a part of due to so many issues of who to invite and who not to invite) and then I would have a step dad. A step dad who I have been told wants to be my friend. Hey I am open to that. I would be happy to have yet another positive role model in my life (not that having an affair is a great thing but to help show me how marriage can be) would be great. Talking to my dad dad I have realized that his view of marriage was always extremley skewed and he thought just being faithful and bringing home a pay check was enough to sustain a marriage. It is in fact not. I always thought i would never wait on someone the way my mom waited on my dad. I thought there should always be an equal share in marriage and that the person you marry would be one who you wanted to spend most of your time with. I do hope marriage happens for me.

On to different last names. I was talking to my mom about if she would change her last name when she got remarried and she will in fact do this. It is kinda sad to have a different last name from my mom as I had discussed with someone else earlier this weekend. But then my mom brought up the point, that hopefully eventually I will in fact have a different last name when I get married. Didn't think of it that way.

Breach of Faith

I just finished reading Breach of Faith by Jed Horne that was about Katrina. It was a good book. I had read the Great Deluge last year and the books are pretty much the same. I think it is vry interesting to read about the different events that took place and reading different peoples' opinions as to why it ended up being such a disaster. It was good and I would recommend it.

Saturday

So being off of work makes the weekends pretty uneventful. Just kind of laying around. Went to a interview for weight watchers to be a receptionist at the meetings. It went pretty well and it is something that I would really like to do. I really believe in the program and it helped me so I guess the best thing would be to work for them.

Otherwise today I have just been reading a good book about Katrina called Breach of Faith by Jed Horne. Very interesting as well as very long. I have rediscovered the library as I often do during the summer. I don't have any extra funds to buy books so the next best thing is to go to the library.

I have been talking to my mom a lot and am looking forward to seeing her new house and meeting her boyfriend (I have met him before but don't really remember.) Soon enough ... probably early next year, he will become my step dad. Strange. Then I will have a step brother and sister. Also, strange.

I have decided ... probably, unless another hurricane hits New Orleans, that i will probably move back there after I have completed my master's program in three years. I just feel like if I have kids and stuff I want them to know my family. People always ask me if I have family here and then seem to find it strange that I live here without any family but I don't find it that abnormal. But to paraphrase Chris Rose, she is a New Orleans girl and even if they live away, they always come back.

Back by myself

So my sister was here Monday through today and it was a fun time. We went to Universal in Orlando and Busch Gardens in Tampa. We had a good time and it was good to hang out with someone who knew what I was going through.

I have been feeling okay about everything. I am going home in a month and am stressed about that a little.

Stress

My sister is coming in this morning. It is only 6am and I am already awake. I didn't sleep very well last night and then I was talking to her already because she called and she is very stressed out and sick to her stomach. I think she is nervous about flying. I don't know how often she has actually flown by herself. I am now feeling somewhat sick as well. I guess sympathy sickness. I am not sure. I am happy to she my sister and we will be able to talk and kind of wrap our brains around all that is going on. I am very happy to see her. In about an hour I will be leaving to go to the airport at about the same time her plane takes off. Random how long it takes to get to the airport when you live in the middle of nowhere.