Alone

It is a real scary thought to be alone. Right now I am alone in my apartment and just trying to convince myself to go to bed and stop waiting up for the phone to ring. If I could just stop being someone else and go back to being regular old Jessica that would be great. I realize the phone is not going to ring and even if it does it won't be who I want it to be and then I will be in a funk again.

I think I am just so scared of being alone forever and never finding my soul mate (yes, I believe in all that crap.) And its hard to be away from your home. If I was in NOLA right now, I would jump in my car and run up to PJs. Or I could just go and talk to my mom or something but here its just like stare at the tv, the computer, or just the walls. Maybe I am getting homesick, I don't know.