Reading First and No Call, No Email

So I survived my first day at the four day professional development on Reading First that I am attending. Most of the other people there had to go bc their schools are reading first schools. Mine is not but I chose to go to hopefully pick up so new things and to earn the nice stipend. Today I learned that sitting in a chair for 8 hours is more exhausting then teaching children. I also learned that I had some of my terminology confused (not terminology I would use with the students but just things that would help me sound like I actually know what I am talking about sometimes.) I haven't seen anything as of yet that I am truly excited about implementing. Hopefully that will come in the next three days.

I am so exhausted though it is ridiculous. I woke up WAY before my alarm clock today so I was up at 5:11am. I haven't seen that time in a long time and shouldn't have this morning but my body just woke up. Oh well. Early to bed tonight.

On the guy side of things, I haven't recieved a call or an email from the guy with kids. He told me he was interested but from the lack of communication all I see in major disintrest. Life goes on. Since I do the internet dating thing (I realize how this sounds but I have trouble meeting people) I decided to make a goal for myself of emailing two new people a day and see if anything pans out. I will let you know how that goes!

Skinny Women are Evil by Mo'Nique

I just finished reading the book "Skinny Women are Evil" by Mo'Nique (from The Parkers and my fav Charm School.) It was a funny read. It was semi autobiographical with funny antecdotes about why it is okay to be F.A.T (Fabulous and Thick) and why skinny evil ones are the way they are. I found it funny and the antedotes cracked me up. She dicusses her fitness tries, diet attempts, traveling issues, and shopping issues.

It was a quick read and I liked it although I couldn't buy all the things she said about why its good to be fabulous and thick. I was fat (fat that is not fabulous and thick) and worked my butt off to be skinny and wouldn't go back for anything. I am glad though that there is an uplifting funny read with things everyone can relate to.

Trying to figure out the male species

So ... men. Trying to meet someone when you feel like you are getting to an age where it feels like it ain't happening (hence quater-life crisis.) The newest guy in life is nice and everything but he doesn't fit my checklist - yeah I know I can't believe I have a little checklist (in my brain not actually on paper) but I do. But I talked to him (typed to him) last night and he said he would call today and we could go to the batting cages (I am somewhat not athletic but think I could be after all these workouts.) Well did he call or even a simple email. NO!!! Why would he do what he say he would? That would make too much damn sense. I just don't understand. He is older than I am (by more than a decade) and I thought older men were suppose to be more responsible. I suppose not. I mean I guess something better probably came around so he went for that. Whatever. I just don't get it and think I never will. I am not really a relationship person. My longest relationship has only been 5 months. I was also discussing with a friend today how I have never really been in love or loved another (besides family and friendship stuff.) Maybe I just don't have enough experience dating (relatively zero) to know what is going on. I guess I could email him but I don't want to seem desperate or anything and I am not even sure if I am that into him. Oh well, we shall see where this leads.

I can't believe I just sat through that ...

The dumbest movie ever. Napoleon Dynamite. I just didn't get it. I have heard it was funny. I didn't really think so I was just like what the hell the whole time. I have owned the movie for over two years and since I had nothing else to do today I decided to watch it ... so dumb. What do people like about this movie?

Last Day of Summer

Tomorrow is my last day of summer unfortunately. I have been wrestling with this fact in my head. I signed up to go to an optional 4 day professional development that starts on Tuesday and goes all day long. It's on reading and I could use more tips and strategies to teach reading. It also offers a stipend and I could definitely use that as well. I am going to go I just hate that my summer has flown by as it seems even though it has been longer than my other summers. Since I taught summer school for half of June and went home for a week in July it really cut down on my sitting around time. After this professional development, I start at school trainings. I start a week earlier than everyone else because I am going to a brand new school. So it will be cool.

Right now, I am having to talk to my dad and hear about his date today. How is it that my dad is dating and I am not? It is crazy.

I can do push ups ... and waiting to get into my classroom

So Wednesday at the gym I discovered I can do pushups. I had watched Shaq's Big Challenge the night before and saw those kids do pushups so I decided to try the normal kind up on your toes. I am happy to say I can now do push ups and am super proud of myself. Skipped the gym today on purpose because I had worked out the four prior days and then will go back tomorrow.

On to waiting to get into my classroom. I am going to a brand new school this year so we are waiting for the buildings to be ready. I am suppose to be able to get in sometime next week but I am also in professional development next week so I am not exactly sure when I am going to get to move in. I have to go back to work the Monday after the professional development so the next few weeks are going to be a whirl wind of activity. I need to write down some things on my calendar.

Skinny Bitch

My friend brought me this book to read. Her mother got it for her and Victoria Beckham (Sp?) was seen reading it. Hated it. Talked all about how you should eat vegan and everything should be organic. Everything according to them is bad for you. If only they could see what I eat. The language is in this book is somewhat harsh as well. F this and f that yadda yadda. Its a little much if you ask me. I think people who were thinking about going vegan would find this book helpful but I definitely do not see if causing a revolution.

My Direction in Life

I have been really confused lately and have been feeling really trapped. I want to do something else with my life besides teach but I am not exactly sure what. I am starting a master's program in social work in the fall but am not sure that is the path I want to take. I am so confused. I have so many things I want to do in my head but don't know how to get there. My master's program is also stressing my out because normally I go home for a week at Thanksgiving but I am not sure I am going to be able to do that this fall. My university is out only on Thursday and Friday and my classes are on Tuesday and Wednesday. Maybe they would get cancelled but that is really stressing me out now because if I don't go home for Thanksgiving I wouldn't get to go home until the end of Decemeber for Christmas and that seems far away. I guess we shall see. Any ideas of what I should do with my life????

Young and Fun

I feel like I am not having enough fun like I should be having given my young age and single status. I think I should be going out more and trying to meet new people and do different things. Sometimes I think I should be back at home because I know a lot more people where I am from and a lot of them would be willing to do a lot of things that I don't do here because i don't have anyone to go and do them with. I want to be young and fun!

Wearing Jeans on Fridays while teaching and other randoms from my day

So today I went to a meeting at work to discuss different arising things that happen when you are opening a new school. Jeans. I love wearing jeans on Friday to work ... it makes me feel like it is truly Friday. I work at an elementary school so I never thought it made me look unprofessional to the students. So up came the topic of paying a dollar every Friday to wear jeans to establish a faculty fund (in addition to paying the $20 for the year to have parties and stuff.) This aggrevated me so I said something. I thought it was crazy and so did someone else at the table but she isn't as outspoken as I am. In the end, the principal decided that we should only wear jeans once a month and will probably have to pay a dollar. I understand that I guess. For a long time this particular principal was a stickler about pantyhouse and closed toe shoes but she has definitely laxed on that. We can even wear nice looking bermudas (I know what this means but I am sure others do not.) So I am happy that she has relaxed a little one that and maybe the jean thing is just to much for her to take in a year. I understand. But as far as I am concerned khakis and jeans are on the same level. My mother disagrees but I will hold adamatly to this belief. Could someone nominate me for What Not to Wear so I could buy some amazing clothes (I have nice clothes but I lose weight pretty often because I am in a losing pattern and I need better fitting clothes ... I love my clothes FYI.) Ah such is life and I will get over it.

Tomorrow night on the agenda is to learn how to iron while drinking Sangria. Sounds like a plan to me lol. I bought an iron and board today and have never ironed so my friend agreed to teach me how tomorrow night. Then we will meet up with her boyfriend and some fellow umpires (who knows who will show up) so that could be interesting. We shall see.

Step Dad

So today I went to school and helped unpack lots of pallets of supplies (not the most fun in the world and my body is paying for it now.) Anyway ... the title of this post will make sense I swear. I was talking to the two other girls that were also unpacking and we were talking about why we were there and most of the reasons had to do with needing days off when school started. I talked about how I needed a Friday off in Septemeber because my mom and my step dad (makes sense now doesn't it) are coming to visit. So I have decided to people that don't know me and that I am just meeting I will from now on refer to my mom's boyfriend as my step dad. They will be married eventually anyway and it is just easier to say step dad than boyfriend (mom's boyfriend sounds really funny to me.) Oh well.

MY ARMS HURT. After a long day of picking up too many boxes, I decided to be glutton for punishment and go to the gym for my body pump class (it is a weight lifting class and if your gym offers it, I highly recommend it.) So now I am in even more pain and I can't tell how many calories I have eaten today because I went and had sushi so of course my weight went up because of the soy sauce but that is driving me a little nuts. I am too much of a control freak about my weight to just eat anything without knowing the caloric content.

Anyway ... I am going to go finish watching Shaq's Big Challange (I think that is the name.) Love it and next year I am going to make sure I stretch in my classroom and make sure my kids are super active so I do not encourage childhood obesity.

Getting back in the swing of things

So I finally went back to the gym today. Thank goodness. Just trying to get back into a normal routine which is difficult because it is summer and being a teacher I don't work during the summer. I am still emotionally zapped though. Like you wouldn't even believe. I started tanning today to get bronzed! Yeah for planet beach here!

Feeling Alone

So ever since I haven't gotten back (it hasn't even been 48 hours yet) I am feeling extremley alone. I had gotten used to it but then I went back to my hometown and was constantly surronded by people so it is a harsh reality to come back to not having a lot of people around all the time. I feel a strange sort of disconnect from the world outside. It sucks.

Back

So I have been back for a little over 24 hours now and it has been a whirlwind since I have been back. My car was broken down when I got back so I had to deal with that and then I was kind of sad to be gone from home even though the trip was somewhat stressful.

I ended up going to the wake and was glad I did. I felt like I got to offer some support to one of his closest friends that I know so that was good.

My trip otherwise is somewhat of a blur. Always out and about and around doing something. I met my mom's boyfriend and he is a very nice man. It was just a little strange.

My sleeping schedule is way messed up and I want to get to the gym but am exhausted lately even though I took a 4 hour nap today. We shall see how it goes.

Going home

Ahhh ... so in about 48 hours I will be back in NOLA for the first time in 6 months. It is a completely different situation from the last time that I went there as now my mother lives uptown with her boyfriend/fiance and my dad lives in the house I grew up in. I am sure this trip will leave some memorable stories. I was talking about divorcing parents today at work with the other teachers and it actually seemed common that people's parents get divorced when you are older. One of the teacher's got divorced when her son was 30 and some other teachers were talking about when their friend's parents got divorced when they were older. It is a definite strange situation though got to tell you that.

I talked with some of my sorority sisters and we have decided to go to the wake on Saturday as we thought it would be a good idea to pay our respects and support his close friends that we know. We decided not to stay for the service as we didn't feel like we knew him well enough to do that. Wakes make me nervous.

On another note, tomorrow is my last day of teaching summer school. 70% of my kids have passed the test to allow them to go on to the next grade so I am happy about that. They took the test on Tuesday and then we had no school Wednesday and then we had today and tomorrow. Today was a waste of time. We watched Cars and Hercules and had VERY exteneded reccesses. Tomorrow we will watch Shrek 2 and have a sort of celebration for the end of summer school. I am glad I was only there for two and a half weeks. I don't know that I could have done it all 5 weeks. It is a whole day thing so it wears on you especially with some of the behavior problems I have in my class. We were told that behavior problems would not be tolerated when we were hired ... this is in fact false. Oh well. At least I made some extra cash. That is always a good thing!

How do you know ...

How do you know when it is appropriate for yourself to go to someone's funeral? How well do you have to know someone for yourself to go and for it not to offend people and for them to be like "why is she here?"

The funeral service for this guy I knew happens to be on Saturday when I fly in. I knew him not the well. We hung out a few times and I talked to him not many times in the past few years up until about a week ago. Should I go to his funeral? I know funerals are really more for the people that are the person's friends like to give them closer and stuff so should I go? I mean I don't want to offend people by them thinking that I didn't know him well enough to go. I am confused.

Feeling guilty

So I am feeling guilty about being sad because he died. I mean I knew him and everything but we were never close or anything. I feel extremley guilty for feeling sad because I barely knew him it feels like. I feel super bad for his close close friends. I don't know I keep getting the chills and it makes me feel even more guilty.

RIP Marc

So a guy that I knew back at home and had just talked to for the first time in a couple of years apparently committed suicide. This was the guy I had plans to hang out with. RIP Marc.